


Merge

by caffeinenut23



Category: Friday Night Lights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinenut23/pseuds/caffeinenut23
Summary: Thanks to the pandemic, I was able to binge watch this show, which I hadn't seen since it first aired.  This time around, it left me with a continuation story arc in my mind that I just have to get out.  I focused mainly on Tyra and Tim in this story because I felt they needed more than what we were left with, but more of the other characters will follow.  This story takes place a few days after Tyra and Tim's last scene together in the series finale.
Relationships: Tyra Collette/Tim Riggins
Kudos: 11





	Merge

“Maybe one day our dreams can merge together.”

That one sentence kept bouncing around in Tyra's head for the past four days. The words, the way he said it, so understanding, so willing to wait, so convinced of the outcome. Though it could have been a question, a request, it wasn't. It had been a statement. Like he had seen into the future and knew how it all would end. With the sexy long hair, those green puppy eyes, and that rakish grin. Goddammit, why did he have to be so...so...so...Tim Riggins.

She hadn't seen him since that day. The day they sat on his land, drinking beer, confessions coming until the sun started to set. She had told him she had been in love with him since she was five. Wasn't that the honest truth. Though back then she had had no idea what love was. Not that kind of love, not any kind of love really. Even in high school, she hadn't known. Maybe if she had, if she had understood and knew what she was feeling, if someone had explained it to her, or taught her, showed her, then maybe things might have been different. Maybe they could have stopped hurting each other and walked together, instead of against each other and then away from each other.

“Maybe one day our dreams can merge together.” 

Dammit, she was done for. Now that she knew what he wanted, she didn't want to wait. It was the same thing she wanted. Who knew how long it could take? Did she really want all that time to pass? Did she want to take the chance that it was too long a wait for either of them? Did she want to miss out on the good things they could have and do in the meantime? Dammit.

“Tyra!” she heard her mother call from the kitchen. “I'm heading to Billy and Mindy's for lunch. You want to tag along?”

Tyra, from the comfort and isolation of her room, closed her eyes. Yes, she was hungry, starving really. And not only for food. But going over there for lunch meant that she might see Tim. And she wasn't sure she was ready yet. Wasn't sure she wouldn't just jump into his arms and give in. As much as she wanted to, she was afraid. Afraid of what she was feeling. This feeling was so consuming, so overwhelming, so overpowering, she was afraid she would lose herself into it and not remember who she was or where she was going and what she wanted for herself. 

“Tyra?” her mother called again, this time opening her bedroom door. “You coming?”

Tyra shook her head. “No, not for lunch. I have some reading to do for next semester that I want to get a jump start on.” She knew it was a pretty lame excuse, but she hoped her mother would too preoccupied with the holiday preparations that she wouldn't question too much.

“Okay, sweetie. There's some leftover lasagna in the fridge from last night if you're hungry.” For a moment, Angela studied her younger daughter, trying to figure out why Tyra was lying. After a moment, she gave up. Tyra had always been hard to read, hard to understand. She always held back and played things close to her heart. She didn't show much emotion or weakness. Liked to be alone a lot with her thoughts. She wasn't the typical mold of the females in her family, and that made Angela unsure of how to deal with her daughter. “You know, tonight is Christmas Eve. We're all invited over to the Taylors' for the evening. Buddy Garrity offered to dress up like Santa Claus for Stevie and Gracie. You should come to that. It could be very funny. Mindy's even making a ham.”

Tyra snorted. “Mindy buying a ham you mean,” she said, turning towards the books she had haphazardly dumped on her bed earlier that day.

Angela shrugged. “Still will be fun. You really should come.”

Tyra nodded. “I will. I wouldn't miss that. Just gotta...be alone for a while today, okay?” She didn't look up at her mom as she began separating her textbooks into piles based on course an subject matter. She didn't want to see that look her mother was probably giving her. That look that said she was disappointed in Tyra's choice and should be doing better or giving more. The look she had seen countless times throughout her nineteen years.

Angela came into her room and said in a disappointed tone, “I don't really understand. But the offer is there. I just sometimes wish you would take notice of all the people around you and do something for them for once, instead of only for you.” With that, she left, slamming the front door behind her.

“Great,” Tyra said out loud, angrily, to herself. “Here we go. Can't wait until I go back to Austin. Maybe I'll leave early.” With that, she threw herself backward on her bed, a few tears leaking out of her eyes. Leaving early meant leaving Tim early. But she knew she couldn't stay much longer, not in her mother's house. Not without feeling the mental and emotional strain that that conversation had just brought back. But she also wasn't ready to say goodbye to Tim yet. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

* * * * *

Tyra stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, looking at her reflection. She wasn't too sure about the outfit she had picked for the Christmas Eve party at the Taylors'. She had called Mrs. T earlier in the day to ask what the dress code was. As usual, Mrs. T had laughed and told her to just wear what made her comfortable. So then she had called Julie, who told her it was semi-formal and that she herself was wearing black skirt and a red sweater. 

So now Tyra stood in front of her mirror in a simple red dress. And heels. And making a face. “Maybe a bit too dressy and formal,” she said to herself. She walked over to her closet and began rifling through it, trying to find something dressy, but not too dressy. Something comfortable, but not grungy. She just kept throwing items out and onto her bed, the floor, the desk, wherever they happened to fall. She was shocked with how much was in her closet, considering the amount of clothes she had taken with her to Austin. Where had she amassed so much clothing? How had she, with as little money as she had?

“Tyra! Billy and Mindy are pulling up! You better be ready!” her mom yelled through her closed bedroom door.

“Great,” Tyra griped. “Dammit. Oh well, whatever.” She yanked off the dress, kicked off her heels (they always made her feel too tall anyway) and pulled on black slacks and a deep blue button up shirt. She pulled on some black socks and her black sneakers. Mrs. T had said to be comfortable. She quickly ran a brush through her now brown hair, slipped her ID and some cash into a pocket, and left her room, butterflies in her stomach. Tim would be there.

“You're wearing that?” her mother asked her as soon as she had emerged from her bedroom. Her mother gave her such a look that Tyra felt like a specimen under a microscope. Like a bacterium or a virus. 

Tyra shrugged. “Yeah. So? Mrs. T said to be comfortable,” Tyra shot back. 

“How do you know?” Angela questioned her daughter.

“I called and asked earlier,” Tyra admitted. “I needed to talk to her about something at school anyway. And she told me to just be comfortable.” Tyra saw the flash of anger cross her mother's face briefly and swallowed hard. Great, she thought. I just pissed her off again. I gotta remember to be quiet about Mrs. T helping me. “C'mon, or Billy and Mindy will leave without us,” she said, changing the subject.

Tyra would have preferred to drive herself over to the Taylors'. That way she could leave whenever she wanted, or even stay later to hang with Julie. Or escape from Tim. But no, her mother had insisted that they all go as a family in one truck. Except Tim, somehow. He got to drive on his own. As she walked to Billy's truck she briefly thought of making an excuse, telling them to go ahead of her, and then calling Tim for a ride. She was just formulating said excuse in her mind when her mother practically threw her into the backseat next to Stevie in his car seat, and then climbed in after, blocking her exit. Like she could read Tyra's mind. Great, Tyra thought. This'll be fun. Maybe Julie and Matt will be bored too and we can all escape together later and I won't need my own ride.

* * * * * *

She really was enjoying herself. She had to admit it. Even though she had spend most of the night so far avoiding Tim, and yet staring at him the whole time. Tim, in his jeans that fit him just right, his button down green shirt that matched his eyes, his signature cowboy boots. His sexy hair hanging in his eyes. The look he'd give her when he caught her staring at him. Oh boy. She was in trouble. If she wasn't careful she could possibly find herself jumping him right here, maybe use Julie's bedroom....No, no, bad thoughts, Tyra admonished herself. But seeing Julie again, spending time with her and Matt, and the Taylors, it was good. Even Matt's grandma, Lorraine was there. She and Tyra shared their secret booze and celebrity jokes and Tyra told her all about college. She didn't think she'd talked this much or laughed so hard in a long time. Or felt so connected to people. 

Buddy Garrity all decked out in a Santa suit, complete with a long beard and big black boots, was enough to for her to let lose a big laugh. She had been with Mrs. T, chatting about school, when the doorbell had rung. They continued their conversation on the way to the front door, but it abruptly stopped when Mr. T swung open the door to admit Buddy in his getup. 

“Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!” he blared at them. “Have you been a good girl Tami?” Buddy as Santa had asked, getting into the part.

“Oh, of course, Santa!” Tami said loudly, getting everyone's attention as she led him down the hallway toward the festivities and the two small kids, Tyra following quietly. As they reached the family room, Buddy as Santa turned to her.

“And have you been a good girl this year Tyra?” he asked.

“Not particularly,” she deadpanned. She noticed Mrs. T rolled her eyes at her comment, Lorraine's sly, knowing smile, her mom's dark look, as well as Tim clearly inhale his beer and almost choke. Ha. Glad she could still shock him.

Buddy let out a loud laugh at her comment. “You are still the same, kiddo. Don't ever change.” And then he did this weird thing and gave her a hug. Uh? What the heck was going on? Then she noticed her mom smiling happily. Ew. Again? And how did she not know this until now?

Later, while Stevie and Gracie were playing with some new toys, Matt and Julie were in a corner talking quietly, the other adults all laughing and drinking and forgetting about the younger people, Tyra saw Tim motion to her to head toward the front door after him. Part of her screamed not to go, not to follow, not to get involved. Not to let herself go down this road again. The scared part of her, the self preservation part. The other part of her, the bold and reckless part that knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it, told that other part to shut the hell up, and she snuck away from the party to follow him.

He was waiting for her just outside the front door. She shut it behind her as quietly as she could so as not to alert the other party goers. Tim took her hand in his and led her down the front walk to the sidewalk and then turned left and continued walking, leading her to his truck parked on the street behind Billy's. Tim put down the tailgate and helped her hop up into the bed of the truck, then climbed up after her. He hadn't said a word the whole time. 

She didn't say anything either. They just sipped their beers and sat next to each other. Awkward. Like a first date where they were afraid to ask each other anything and not sure what to do. 

The silence was killing Tyra. “I don't want to wait,” she blurted out, staring out into the dark, to afraid to face him. 

Tim turned to her, a question in his eyes. “Wait for what?” he asked, hoping.

Tyra took a deep breath. She knew she had to explain. They couldn't go back to the hiding and avoiding. Like she had been doing for the past four days. Not after all they had shared with each other. Not if she wanted a relationship with him again. She did. She wanted that. And he clearly wanted one with her. His words still rumbled through her head. Maybe one day our dreams can merge together. She knew no matter how scared she was of this, of how much she cared, loved, him, of the possibility of having a future with him, she had to talk and get this out.

“Maybe one day is now. Today,” she said softly, turning to look at him, laying herself open and bare. She tired to convey all she really meant, all she really was feeling, in the gaze she set upon him, staring into his deep puppy eyes. She hid nothing, inviting him in to look.

Tim swallowed. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? He never would have thought this, at least not this soon. He had seen in her smile the other day, out on his land, that she was open to the idea, she was definitely considering it as a future prospect. Then he hadn't seen her or heard from her in four days. He had feared that she was changing her mind. That she had thought about it and realized she couldn't be with him. He wasn't worth it. He wasn't what she wanted. But now, looking at her, staring into her eyes, he realized it had been the exact opposite. She hadn't avoided him because she didn't want to be with him. She had avoided him because she really did and it scared her. Because that was fear in her eyes right now. Not exactly fear of him. Tyra had never been afraid of him. It was more a fear of what she was feeling toward him. A fear of feeling too much for him. A fear of finally getting it right. A fear of being complete, of being happy. A fear of love. But he could see there was hope behind that fear as well. Hope that this was what he wanted as well. Hope that it would all work out. Hope that they would finally be happy together. Hope that what they had was real love.

Tim put down his beer and laid his hand on her cheek. He gazed back at her, trying to tell her everything with his eyes as well. After a moment, he leaned in and kissed her. Gently, not asking for anything, not taking anything. Just offering everything. He felt her wrap her fingers in his hair and hold him close, keeping him from breaking away from the kiss for several minutes. 

Tyra broke away from the kiss fist, but it was Tim who spoke first. “I think I've been in love with you since I was six.”

Tyra snorted. “Trying to steal my line?” she joked.

Tim shook his head. “Not exactly. But remember when we first met?”

Tyra shook her head. “Not really.” 

Tim smiled. “It was lunchtime at school. And I was getting my ass kicked but Gregory Blaine, the third grade bully,” he said. “He had pushed me on the ground and was shoving my face into the mud. I was a scrawny first grader then,” Tim added, taking a swig of his beer. “I thought I was going to black out. And then Blaine was hauled off me. I turned my head to the side to see what had happened. I thought a teacher was coming to my rescue. Instead it was this tall, blonde girl, in messy braids and overalls. You. You were standing over Blaine who was now on the ground. You put your hand on your hips and said to him, 'I hate bullies. Why don't you pick on someone your own size.' The best part...you were only a kindergartener, and had just embarrassed the crap out of Blaine in front of his friends. You were tough.”

Tyra laughed. “I had forgotten that. I just feel like I have known you forever. I don't event think about how we met. I just think that you have always been there.” 

“Well, that's when I fell in love with you. Only I didn't know it was love then. In fact, I didn't know it was love until I was in jail, reading your letters. That tough little girl who stood up for me, she came through in those letters. And I just knew.”

They sat in silence again after that. But this time it was companionable, not fearful. It was comfortable. It felt right. Tyra broke the silence with her request. “Can we go slow? Spend time relearning how to do this? I don't want to go too fast and mess it up like we did before.”

“I meant what I said, Tyra,” Tim said quietly. “I want you to follow your dreams. Finish school. We can make this work anyway we want. There's no right way. Just right for us.”

Tyra shook her head, but smiled up at him and rested her hand on his cheek. “When did you become so philosophical and insightful? No, that's wrong. You always have been. But when did you become so open and honest about it and willing to share?”

“Like I said, jail did change me. But really? You. Really seeing you. When I told you about going to jail for Billy and why, part of me was cringing, waiting for the attack. For you to tell me how stupid I was, and look at me with disgust or hatred or something. For you to walk away and not look back. For you to forget about me. Like everyone else seemed to. But you didn't. Instead, you looked at me with so much understanding. And like I was some kind of hero, or something. And I realized that you always understood me. Yeah, you would tell me a lot of what I did was stupid, and it was back then. I did a lot of stupid things. But you never called me stupid. And you could always tell when I was telling the truth or hiding something. And you did all you could not to let me. You know, you told me that Billy was the only one who believed in me, stood by me. But that's not true, is it? You've always done it too. All the way back to elementary school.” Tim took a deep breath and then continued. “Too many people have believed lies about me. The whole town, really. Even Coach Taylor. I was actually surprised that both Coach and Buddy came to my hearing to speak for me. No one has really given me a chance, to caught up in their beliefs of who I was and who I would become. Too many people have tried to change me throughout my life, made me feel like there is something wrong with me. My parents. Jay. Lyla. Even Billy. But never you. You just accept me.”

Tyra stared hard at Tim, willing him to see the truth in what she was about to say to him. “Tim, there isn't anything wrong with you that needs to be changed. I've always known that. Now, you have to know it and believe it.”

Tim nodded slowly, looking back at her. “I see that now. And I know who I am now. You're a big part of that, of helping me find that out. So, thank you.”

“You know, I had always hoped you'd figure that out. Even when we were so hateful towards each other. Even when we were with other people and barely spoke to each other. I hoped that someone would wake that knowledge up in you, even if it wasn't me. And through all that, I never stopped caring about you. So many times I saw you keep sliding down in to a dark place. So many times I wanted to grab you and shake some sense into you. But I also knew you had to come to this realization yourself in order for you to accept and believe it. I'm so proud of you. And Tim,” she said, making sure she had his full attention. “I never stopped loving you.”

“I've always loved you too. I may have lost sight of that for a while. But it really never went away.”

They came together again, but this time the kiss was more passionate, more needy, infused with their feelings, wants, and needs. And it seemed to last forever. Tim put all of his love into that kiss, and Tyra put in all her hopes. They knew this was it, this time. It would work because they wanted it to work. Because they weren't afraid of it working. They were ready for it to work. What maturity could do to a person.

“So, are we merging now?” Tim asked playfully, breaking away from the kiss to look at the woman he loved.

“Well, we can be in a few seconds, but we might want somewhere more private,” Tyra said suggestively.

They both jumped out of the bed of the truck and climbed into the cab. Tim started up the truck and as they pulled away Tyra said, “I think my mother and Buddy Garrity are sleeping with each other again.”

Tim groaned. “Tyra, why are you trying to kill the mood with that visual.” Then he pulled out into the road and took her away. To be with him.

* * * * * *

It was more than an hour after Tim and Tyra made their quiet exit that anyone noticed they were missing.

“I think it's time we head out,” Mindy said, motioning to the two young kids practically falling asleep on the floor amid all the presents. “Two people here seem to need some sleep.”

“You can put Stevie in Gracie's room if you want to stay. We can put Gracie in ours,” Tami offered. “It's no trouble.”

“Thanks, but I really think it is time we go,” Mindy said kindly refusing. “It's almost 11:00. Mom?”

“I'm not ready to go home yet,” Angela said. “Can't we just stay a bit longer?”

“I can give you a ride,” Buddy offered. “I don't mind at all.”

“Okay, thanks,” Angela said, giving Buddy those lovesick eyes. 

“Hey, Tyra, you ready to leave?” Mindy asked, as she and Billy gathered together all of Stevie's gifts. When there was no answer, Mindy looked up trying to locate her sister. It took only a few seconds to realize Tyra wasn't in the room. “Where did she go?”

“She's gotta be around here somewhere. I'll find her,” Julie said, starting with her room. No Tyra. Not in the bathroom either. Before she could look through the rest of the house, Matt motioned her over. “Tim's not here either,” he whispered conspiratorially. He raised his eyebrows a la Groucho Marx suggestively. “Wonder where they went?”

Julie looked shocked and then suddenly smiled knowingly. “Yeah, it really is hard when you love someone, isn't it, Tyra,” she said quietly.

“Uh, Julie, have you had too much to drink? I'm Matt,” Matt said seriously.

Julie snorted. “No, just remembering something Tyra said to me a few days ago. Makes sense now. She's got it bad. I should have seen this coming especially after a conversation I had with her and then how she and Tim were acting toward each other night we all hung out at the bar.”

“Wait. What? Tyra and Riggins? Again?” Matt asked quietly. “Wow.” Then he laughed. “Guess we should have seen that one coming. But how the hell did they sneak out like that and nobody noticed? And why the hell didn't they take us with them?”

“Do you really want me to answer that last one?” Julie asked him, giving him a withering look.

“Uh, yeah no, thanks. I think I got that one now.” Matt thought for a minute then continued, “Think they'll beat us to the alter?” he asked, leaning in to Julie, forehead to forehead, and putting a piece of her blonde hair back behind her ear.

“Are you kidding?” Julie asked laughing. “Those two? There's no way they're getting married in a church. Vegas more likely. And yeah, probably way before we do.”

“Hey,” Billy called out. “Tim's missing too.” He turned to Coach Taylor. “You better check all your bedrooms before you enter.”

“Billy!” Mindy said exasperated. “Do you have to be so crass? And do you have to sound so happy about it?” She hefted Stevie up and turned to Tami. “Thanks for having us. It was a good evening. And if we don't see you before you move, good luck in Pennsylvania.”

“Oh, you're so welcome. Stop by anytime,” Tami said graciously. “And I hope the coaching deal works out for you, Billy.”

“Thanks Mrs. T. Take care.” He turned to Buddy. “And thanks for taking Angela home.” With that, Billy and Mindy left, going as quietly as they could so not to wake up Stevie.

After the Riggins family had left, Buddy and Angela off to Buddy's condo, and Matt took his Grandma home, Eric carried a sleeping Gracie to her room. While he was attempting to change her into pajamas without waking her, and tuck her in, Tami and Julie started cleaning up the food and plates. Thinking ahead, Tami had decided on mostly paper products, so cleaning up at least did not involve lots and lots of dishes. 

As they were making room in the refrigerator for some leftover turkey and pie, Tami casually asked Julie, “So, Tyra and Tim again? Really?”

Julie smiled, knowing her mom was fishing, but willing to throw her something. Tyra and Tim deserved it for ditching them earlier. “Yeah, I guess so. Though it's kinda always been Tyra and Tim. As far back as elementary school, from what I understand. So when they broke up in high school, it was the equivalent of a mid-life crisis that most couples hit in their 40's. And now they are over that and back together. And in their golden oldies. They just do relationship milestones quicker than most.”

Tami laughed quietly. “I guess they do. I just didn't think they'd ever give in to each other or compromise on things.”

“They've both changed so much. If you really talk to them, you get that. College definitely changed Tyra. And I'm sure spending some time in jail changed Tim. Tyra's even more insightful now that she used to be. And Tim...he was downright chatty the other night. I thought he was a pod person or something,” Julie told her mother.

“Tim Riggins was chatty?” Eric commented, coming up behind his wife and older daughter. “What is this world coming to?”

Julie nodded. “Calm, chatty, affectionate. Funny. He barely even had any alcohol that night. Scary almost, to see how much he changed. But it was all good changes.” Julie stopped talking after that and quickly helped her parents finish up before going to bed. She had given her parents a little information about her friends, but she wasn't going to give all her thoughts and suspicions away.

* * * * * *

They had gone to her house after the left the Taylors'. They figured that would give them the most time to themselves. They didn't want Billy and Mindy walking in on them at their house. Best guess was that Angela would probably, if Tyra was right, go with Buddy back to his place. So that would give them the most free time at Tyra's house, possibly the whole night to themselves.

It had been a long time since Tim had been in that bed with her. A few years. Yet it still felt the same, to him. Still smelled the same. Still a tight squeeze for them. But it was perfect. After spending some time physically expressing love, they dressed in casual clothes and decided to watch a movie. Neither was ready to sleep yet, but neither wanted to separate from the other. As they sat together on the couch, watching bad reality TV and eating ice cream, Tyra couldn't hold it in anymore.

“Why Lyla?” she asked.

Tim frowned. “Do we have to talk about this?”

Tyra nodded. “Yeah. I have to know why,” Tyra said quietly, not looking away from her ice cream.

“Why?” Tim asked.

“Because I have to know. I have to know what I did wrong that made you...made you go to her and stay away from me,” she replied, willing herself not to start crying. Boy, when had tears been so close to the surface on her?

Tim closed his eyes and sighed. So that was what this was about. Tyra blamed herself for his desire for Lyla. She thought she had done something to drive him into Lyla.

“Nothing, Tyra. You didn't do anything.”

“Then why?” Tyra asked, a few tears leaking out.

“Because you knew me too well. I couldn't hide all of my thoughts and feelings from you. And I thought I needed that at that time. I didn't want anyone to know me, to see through me. And Lyla didn't look. She didn't try. She just wanted something and I gave that to her. No questions. No truth. Just two people pretending to be who they weren't just so we didn't have to deal with life and what was happening.” He took her into his arms and settled her against him. “I thought that if I was with you, then I would have to face everything, that you wouldn't let me hide it away. I wasn't ready for that and I didn't want to have to explain all of that to you. It actually never occurred to me that you wouldn't force me. Or that all I really needed was someone who did see and understand me. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble over the next few years if I had just been open and honest with you instead of shoving you away and running.”

He felt Tyra nod against his chest. “You know, that kinda makes sense, I guess,” she sniffled out. “Fear sometimes makes you do stupid things. But for the record, I would have let you hide with me, until you were ready to face everyone. But I wouldn't have let you hide it all from me.” 

“Yeah. I finally figured that out. And when I thought that maybe I could come back to you, you seem to be occupied by Landry. An so I backed off and walked away. What happened there? That isn't exactly the kind of guy I ever thought you'd be with.”

Tyra pulled away and smiled at Tim. “Actually, Landry was different. There was the weird guy everyone saw, but underneath, once you go to know him, he was actually really just like us. But I think he and I got together for the wrong reasons and we stayed together because we were both too afraid to admit that. Also, I think we were together because I liked the attention and the constant worship and he liked the attention and the status it brought him. Also two reasons not to be together. But we were just to stubborn to quit.”

“How did you guys get together anyway? I meant it when I said he was definitely not a person I ever saw you going out with. I don't understand how or why it happened.”

Tyra got up and walked away from Tim to stare out a window. He watched as she hugged herself and could almost see her folding into herself, pulling way from him and clamming up. Something he was hoping she would no longer do with him. After being so open and honest these last few weeks, he was scared that maybe it wouldn't last.

“Tyra?” he called softly. “You okay?”

Tyra nodded once. “Yeah, just...not something that brings up good memories, okay?”

“That sound ominous. That relationship that bad? You two always seemed to get along just fine.” Tim asked, concerned.

“No,” Tyra responded shakily, still staring out the window. “No, No, the relationship wasn't bad. And we got along fine, most of the time. It's just hard to talk about. And I'm not sure I can tell you about it. Legally, I mean. I'm not sure what would happen if anyone found out.” She turned to face him and even from across the room he could see the tears sliding down her face. “I hate it, I hate what happened. And I can't talk about it.”

Immediately Tim was up and across the room to stand in her personal space. He put his hand on her arms and began to gently rub them. He was confused. Why the tears if things had been good between her and Landry? And why were there legal considerations? “Whatever you say stays between me and you, you know. If you don't want to talk about it, I can understand and respect that. But seeing you now, I think you need to talk about it.” 

“Do you remember back to what everyone called the Mud Bowl?” she asked.

Tim nodded, not sure why she was bringing this up. She seemed to be changing the conversation so he figured she wasn't going to tell him about her relationship with Landry now. He could wait. He would wait. “Yeah, it was a mess that night.”

Tyra nodded. “Yeah. I didn't go to the game. Instead, I was meeting Landry at the Alamo Freeze. So he could help me with algebra.”

So this was about Landry, Tim thought. He just looked at her, encouraging her to continue, but not pressing.

“I was there for a half hour, and Landry still hadn't shown up. There was this creepy guy there who wouldn't stop talking to me and leave me alone, and I just wanted to leave. So I did. And he followed.” Tears started flowing more quickly now, and he watched as Tyra angrily swiped them away. “I wish now that I had waited longer, but...hindsight you know?”

“Tyra,” Tim said seriously and softly, “Did that guy hurt you? Did he rape you?”

Tyra shook her head. “He tried. But cigarette lighters to the the face make good weapons,” she quipped through her tears. “Landry showed up just after the guy took off. I told him what happened.”

“And he was there for you, where I wasn't. And so you started dating,” Tim guessed.

“Actually, no, not at all,” Tyra corrected. “Well, he was there. He was a good friend through all this, but we didn't start dating then. There's more. A lot more.”

Tim nodded, suddenly sensing this was a very long and involved story. He took Tyra's hand and led her back to the couch. They sat back down and he offered to go get her a glass of water. He brought back two, and then resumed his seat, waiting for her to continue.

“After a few days, I guess Landry was worried about me. I wasn't returning calls. I was skipping school. So he told Mrs. T what happened. She and Landry made me go to the police, make a report. So I did. Bad experience, but actually, it turned out to be a good thing in the end.” Tyra stopped to take a sip of water. Her hands were shaking so badly that she spilled the water, and Tim had to take the glass form her and place it on the coffee table. Taking a deep breath, Tyra continued. “Things seemed to get better from there. Landry was a good friend. I could tell he wanted more, but I wasn't ready or willing at that point. And then....then...then the guy came back.”

“He came back,” Tim echoed. “When?”

“At the end of the summer. He started stalking me. I told Landry. Landry stuck to me like glue at that point. Anyway, Landry was over one night and we went out to grab some snacks to watch movies. He had followed us, and while Landry was in the store, he tried to get me again. But Landry heard me yell and came out and the next thing I knew Landry hit the guy in the head with a lead pipe he had found. Twice. And the guy was unconscious. We freaked and loaded him into Landry's car to take him to the hospital. But he...he died in the car. And we had no idea what to do! We were so scared. And we didn't want to get into trouble or have to deal with this anymore. And we each wanted to protect the other. So we....we....dumped his body over the bridge and into the river. But we couldn't get past it and all these feelings came out....”

“And you guys started something then out of fear and need,” Tim said, realizing the truth.

Tyra nodded, wiping her eyes. “Yeah. It was so wrong, but we couldn't see that. Or didn't want to. And by the time we did....anyway, it didn't end there. The police found the body. It was terrible. They started putting pieces together. I got asked into the police station with my mother. The police had had me describe the guy who attacked me to a sketch artist, so they connected the body to me. This was how my mother found out about me being attacked. It was horrible. But they didn't find any evidence of me actually doing anything to the guy. But, you know, Landry's dad is a police officer. And he started putting the pieces together and then the story came out.”

Tim started rubbing Tyra's back as she kept crying, but getting the story out.

“In the end, they decided Landry had acted in defense of others when he killed that guy. He was defending me, afraid of what the guy would do to me. So they didn't press charges. But now we were tied together, and we just...didn't know how to separate everything, you know? So we were together, then not, then together again....I think we mixed up all our feelings, we weren't sure what was what. And we weren't able to admit that and move on. I also think that we felt guilty about not being together. Like we were dishonoring each other's sacrifices or making it seem like what happened didn't matter anymore. Like after what we did, we had to be together or else. It took me going away to college, being away from all the memories, from Landry himself, for me to finally see accept the truth. Because the truth is, if that guy hadn't come back, I never would have gotten into a relationship with Landry. Friends, yes. Dating and love? No. And it wasn't really love. It was mixed up fear, need, and gratitude, masquerading as love.”

By the end, Tyra was sobbing so hard that Tim could barely make out what she was saying. This was hard for him to see, and hard for him to hear. But he listened, because he knew Tyra needed him to hear it, that she needed to tell him. The one thought that kept going through his mind was that it should have been him. It should have been him protecting her. It should have been him that she went to for help. It should have been him beating that guy with a pipe. He should have still been in her life. He was grateful that Landry had been there. That the weird kid had stepped up to be Tyra's friend and protector. But really, Tim knew is should have been him. Then an even darker thought crept in. If he had still been in her life, then she never would have been attacked in the first place. She would have been at the Mud Bowl game, for him, and then they would have gone out afterwards. She never would have been at the Alamo Freeze on that Friday night. And all of this would have never happened to her. He was to blame. He screwed up their relationship and walked away from her. And this is what the consequence was. It sickened him. Because he had been angry and afraid, she had gotten hurt. Tim vowed at that moment that it would never happen again.

After Tyra had calmed down, Tim suggested they go get some sleep. She said no, saying after reliving all that, she needed something else in her mind before bed, or she would just have nightmares. Something in her voice made Tim realize she was speaking from experience. So, laying out on the couch and tucking her body half on him, half between him and the back of the couch, Tim reached over for the TV remote and began flipping channels. Eventually, they ended up finding Spaceballs coming on one of the movie channels. Good, easy fun. Not scary or heavy. Exactly what Tyra needed right now. And not exactly a movie that needed careful attention. Eventually, around the time Princess Vespa was going to get nose surgery, Tim felt Tyra's breathing even out and knew she was asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he decided not to move her to the bed yet. Instead, he turned the volume on the TV way down and just kept her tucked into him. Soon, his eyes heavy, he fell asleep as well, the ending of the movie playing out on the TV.

The morning sun made the dust mites shimmer in the living room. The steak of light dancing across his face made Tim wake up, rubbing his eyes. The first thing he noticed what that Tyra wasn't with him on the couch anymore. He sat up, blinking quickly, trying to wake up and focus. It took him a few moments to realize that she was sitting on the coffee table across from him. Waiting.

“Finally! Only you Tim Riggins could sleep in this late on Christmas morning,” Tyra teased. She grabbed something off the table next to her and handed it to him. “Here. Merry Christmas.” It was a wrapped present.

“Uh, thanks,” he said hesitantly. “You really didn't have to get me anything. And when did you have the time?”

Tyra shrugged. “I wanted to. Besides, it's not much. Open it!”

Pushed on by her excitement, Tim ripped off the snowman wrapping paper and uncovered a canvas artwork. The kind from places like Home Goods or Walmart, that said simply 'Home Is Where My Loved One Is'. It was a bit of a rustic design, wood background, words in a fancy script, and sunflowers along the bottom. Sunflowers, he remembered, were Tyra's favorite flower.

“Uh, if you don't like it,” Tyra said softly, “I can get something else...”

“No, no. It's perfect. This is for the house I plan to build, right?” He looked up at her and smiled. “This is great. Gonna hang it right in the living room. Or maybe the kitchen. To remind me.” He didn't have to tell her what. She knew. They both did. “How long have you been waiting for me to get up so you could give this to me?”

Tyra rolled her eyes. “A while. I made coffee, too.”

Tim chuckled. “Thanks. Just gotta get something out of my truck first, though.” At her questioning look he continued, “Your present.”

He left her house, but returned after only moment, carrying a wrapped package. “It's nothing too big, but well, here,” he said, handing it to her, staring at the ground in embarrasment.

Excitedly, Tyra tore off the wrapping paper and stared at what he had given her. Immediately, her eyes began to tear up. Crying again. She briefly wondered if this was her new normal with Tim back in her life, but then pushed her attention back to the present he had given her. It was a picture frame with three places for pictures. The top picture was of the two of them, on her front steps, maybe 6 or 7 years old. He was sitting, smiling shyly, eyes half covered by his shaggy hair. She was next to him, in braids and overalls, grinning like a loon with her arm around him. The second picture, underneath that one, was again of the two of them, this time on his front steps. Tim's eyes were half covered by hair again, his smile shy and unassuming, but seemingly happy. She was behind him this time, her arms around his shoulders, her head resting on on them right next to his face, cheek to cheek, smiling brightly and happily at the camera. They were in their teens. She guessed it was taken shortly before Jason Street had gotten hurt and their life went sideways. Back when they were still happy with each other. The third spot was empty.

“I thought we could fill the third spot with a picture of us when I finish our house...” He broke off, half in embarrassment, half in concern for the tears falling down her face. Tyra never cried. But in the past several hours all she had done was cry on him, and it freaked him out a little. “Hey...you okay?”

Tyra nodded vigorously. “Yeah,” she sobbed out. “This is just...this is so perfect. This is probably the most thoughtful and most wonderful gift I've ever gotten. Thank you.” Then she grabbed his face and kissed him hard. After she broke away she asked, “Where did you even get these pictures?”

“Billy found them, actually. He was cleaning out some of our old stuff to make room for Stevie's stuff and found them in a box of old photos. He thought I might like them. And I thought, well, that you might like them too.”

Tyra wiped her eyes and smiled up at him. “I do. Thank you. Part of me wishes that everyone knew the sweet and kind and wonderful Tim Riggins that I do.”

“And the other part?” he asked, curious.

“I'm glad they don't because I don't want to share.”

Tim let out such a laugh, it seemed to reverberate through her house. He then hugged her closely for a moment, letting her get herself back together. Neither knew what time her mother might come home, and they didn't want to have to give any explanations. This was a private moment for just them.

“I'll keep this with me in Austin for now. But once everything is all settled, maybe this can hang in our house, too?”

Tim liked how she said “our house”, like she just knew the outcome of all of this, like he did. They were finally on the same page in their crazy relationship, and that made him happy. For the first time in a long time, Tim felt truly happy. “That's the plan,” he confirmed.


End file.
